Deep Down

 

i know it’s a pandemic.
i know i’m poor.
i know i’m black/ African American.
and male
i live in the U.S.
despite having
           four degrees
i end up in a lot
            of student debt
there are no accolades.
               no
                 awards
                 medals
                 nor recognition
if i achieve things
                 like graduation
                 from law school
                 graduation from seminary
                 graduation from art school
                 graduation from college
                 i end up
                      failing the bar
                      unordained
                      i have yet to sell a painting.
                      and for the majority
                      of my post collegiate life
                          underemployed
                          unemployed
                          destitute
                          and on welfare
 
despite all of this
            i feel a deep pain.
            for not having
            become
            a success
 
that is if success can be
             measured in money.
 
                                                                          1/19/2021